Happy Best Friends Day!

Is it bad that I don't have one best friend? Apparently today is national (unofficial) Best Friends Day. Who knew? I learn something on social media every day! But I can't say I have just one best friend, because each of my close friends is "the best" for me in their own, unique way. 

There's the friend who calls out my bulls**t.

If I'm feeling confused or badly used, she's the one I call because she's really good at identifying the source of the trouble. When she perceives something I'm missing, she shows me another view. She values the same kind of feedback from me. We also play and enjoy socializing, but those heavy discussions glue us together.

There's the friend who has known me forever.

She knows my family, hometown, childhood, and all three of the husbands I've had. We've been there for nearly all the important events in each other's lives and always will. We spend little time together now, but she literally understands where I'm coming from. The bond we share is deep and unbreakable.

There's the friend who likes to do things. 

If either of us wants to see a show, listen to live music, check out a new shopping center, go to the gym--pretty much anything fun--we ask each other to go. We have a lot in common and talk freely about everything. She helps me enjoy being in the moment because that's what we focus on...doing something active and fun, talking about what's happening now.

There's the friend who makes work awesome.

We met working knee-to-knee in an office, and I learned how great teamwork can be. To be productive and provide great value, learning from and trusting one another, with no stupid drama, whilst supporting each other as human beings and becoming true friends, is work heaven. We've chosen to work together on many projects. We also show up for each other's happy and hard times outside of work--because we are friends.

There's the friend who kept me in her life after the job/club/neighborhood ended.

It's easy to be friends when you see each other regularly; even easier to let that friendship expire after one of you leaves. I adore the friends who didn't let that happen. Some time passes now between visits, and that's okay. It takes effort to stay friends when you lose proximity. You have to find new times and places to get together, invite each other. For these few very special friends, it's so worth it!

There's my dog. 

He has to be included because he's my constant companion and I really enjoy his company. We can be together all week and not tire of each other. And he's there for me; when I'm sad, sick, or tired, he stays close. When I'm up, he's ready for action. He's my errand buddy, play mate, and stress reliever. He has other friends...our cat, my husband...but when I call he comes running.

I count my husband, sister, daughter, son, cousin, and adult nieces among this select group of best friends. They're closest to my heart. Thank God they've been willing to let our relationships grow beyond the early roles we played, and become friends who like each other and want to be together.

There are more: Precious in-laws and former in-laws who became not just relatives, but friends. Friends of family members (especially my parents' friends who are even more dear to me since my parents have passed on). Friends from school days--waaaay back--whom I rarely see, yet when we get together the chemistry is exactly the same and we pick up right where we left off.

Together, these friends meet every need and make me feel loved in ways no one person could. I appreciate them so much that writing about it has made me choke up with emotion. And you know what? There's room in my life for more.

Okay, maybe I don't have a best friend. But I have the best friends I could ever want.

What a Wedding Creates

Our daughter married a wonderful man a few years ago. Their anniversary is at this time of year, and I've been thinking about the wedding and what it meant to our family.

By committing themselves to a future together legally, spiritually, and emotionally, they created a brand-new web of relationships that didn't exist before. I am grateful that the host of people who accompanied each of them into their relationship-- relatives, friends, co-workers, mentors--are healthy influences and people of goodwill.

They established a positive climate for everyone in this new web, by making their wedding ceremony and reception activities as much about the supporters gathered there as it was about the couple. Our daughter's wedding was a wonderful event; I look back on it with pride and awe. More important, it created a new community with the potential to bless hundreds of lives in new and powerful ways.

You can call me Grandma!

Our first grandchild was born last spring, and like most grandparents we are utterly smitten. What a fantastic feeling, seeing my child tend so lovingly and competently to her baby. It's indescribable, really. Indescribably GOOD.

Cold Thoughts

We're having extremely hot weather this week, so today I am thinking about cold things. Things like ice cream (actually I did more than think about that one; ate a Dairy Queen banana split-flavored Mini Blizzard). Freezers, doctors' hands, mountain streams, the inside of my car on a winter morning...and snow. I took a few minutes to look at pictures of the awesome Christmas ski vacation our family enjoyed in Breckenridge, Colorado in 2007. Now that's cool!

Getting Ready to Grieve

Last April, on a typical busy day when no one was expecting anything out of the ordinary, my father died. Even Dad didn't suspect something was up. When it happened he was standing in the grocery checkout line, waiting to purchase eggs and tomatoes. He'd already gone for a swim at the YMCA, enjoyed a conversation with his wife, and started his volunteer shift at the Elks Club. He was picking up the groceries for the club. Just a nice, normal day, until suddenly it wasn't.

The family, especially his wife, were occupied for weeks with hundreds of (supposedly) necessary tasks and decisions. Dad's life was simple because he liked it that way. He had no debt, little property, and kids from just one marriage. Even so, there were a few loose ends, unanswerable questions, and difficult judgement calls. I can't imagine how hard the process would be for a family with complicated financial and family situations.

That's mostly over now. There's not much left to do but grieve.

I haven't really begun to go there yet. It feels kind of like standing at the edge of an unheated swimming pool, trying to work up the nerve up to jump in. Knowing the freezing cold water will be a shock, and I'll have to do a lot of moving to warm up. Wanting to do it, but dreading those first extremely uncomfortable minutes.

 I'm almost ready to grieve. Almost. Just give me another minute to get my nerve.



Dad & Me

Pet Week

Eddie

I just found out that last week was National Pet Week. Guess it was overshadowed by Mother's Day (which is understandable, since that is a VERY important holiday). Our family is pet crazy. We even named our restaurant, Frank & Simon's, after our dog and cat. My husband and I adopted a two year old terrier mix from the local Humane Society a couple of months ago. We named him Eddie. Isn't he cute?

Excitement of Business Startup

My son Gordon Miller and I started up a new business in our home town of Lincoln, Nebraska on February 14, 2011. Frank & Simon's is the name. Great food and friendly service is the product. Opening this business has been a great adventure for my family. CBS Signs designed our sign and we love it!