Getting Ready to Grieve

Last April, on a typical busy day when no one was expecting anything out of the ordinary, my father died. Even Dad didn't suspect something was up. When it happened he was standing in the grocery checkout line, waiting to purchase eggs and tomatoes. He'd already gone for a swim at the YMCA, enjoyed a conversation with his wife, and started his volunteer shift at the Elks Club. He was picking up the groceries for the club. Just a nice, normal day, until suddenly it wasn't.

The family, especially his wife, were occupied for weeks with hundreds of (supposedly) necessary tasks and decisions. Dad's life was simple because he liked it that way. He had no debt, little property, and kids from just one marriage. Even so, there were a few loose ends, unanswerable questions, and difficult judgement calls. I can't imagine how hard the process would be for a family with complicated financial and family situations.

That's mostly over now. There's not much left to do but grieve.

I haven't really begun to go there yet. It feels kind of like standing at the edge of an unheated swimming pool, trying to work up the nerve up to jump in. Knowing the freezing cold water will be a shock, and I'll have to do a lot of moving to warm up. Wanting to do it, but dreading those first extremely uncomfortable minutes.

 I'm almost ready to grieve. Almost. Just give me another minute to get my nerve.



Dad & Me